In yet another one of the many stop-the-world-I-want-to-get-off moments the last 12 months has thrown at humankind, Kiss bassist Gene Simmons has announced himself as the god of cryptocurrency Dogecoin.
For the uninitiated, cryptocurrencies are digital assets that exist outside the control of central banking systems. Protected by cryptography, they’re meant to be secure, and immune to both counterfeiting and Government interference. The most famous example is Bitcoin, which launched in 2008, and whose market value has grown from $0.30 per coin in 2011 to over $40,000 per coin this week.
Dogecoin is a more recent example, launched in 2013 as a joke cryptocurrency by two programmers who intended it to parody the thousands of currencies that had sprung up in Bitcoin’s wake. It was named after “Doge”, the slang term for “dog” popularised on microblogging website Tumblr, where it was often used to accompany humorous pictures of the Japanese Shiba Inu breed.
Other cryptocurrencies include PotCoin, designed for the legal cannabis industry and promoted by former basketball star Dennis Rodman, Trumpcoin, which promises to “support patriots around the world”, and Mooncoin, whose limited supply is based upon the average distance from the Earth to the moon.
Where were we? Oh yeah, Gene Simmons.
The God of Thunder has hitched his wagon to Dogecoin, joining fellow investors Snoop Dogg and Tesla founder Elon Musk in taking to social media to promote the currency, whose price was sent soaring last month by the same Reddit users responsible for the GameSpot debacle. He also posted a picture of himself with the caption “God of Dogecoin.”
In an interview with bitcoin.com, Simmons said, “I don’t believe for a second that most people understand what cryptocurrency is, what it is designed to do, but it is immediate and you don’t have to deal with banks – I like that.”
If this is all too confusing, welcome to the club. Just be advised that the value of your investments can go up as well as down, and only invest what you can afford to lose.
In other Gene Simmons news, the bassist has revived his “rock is dead” theory yet again, blaming its apparent demise on “young fans.”
“The culprits are the young fans,” Simmons told New York’s Q104.3 radio last week. “You killed the thing that you love. Because as soon as streaming came in, you took away a chance for the new great bands who are there in the shadows, who can’t quit their day job ’cause you can’t make a dime putting your music out there, because when you download stuff, it’s one-hundredth or one-thousandth of one penny.”
“And so you’ve gotta have millions to millions, and even billions of downloads before you can make a few grand. And the fans have killed that thing. So the business is dead.”